Tuesday, December 2, 2008

I"m not perfect and neither is my mom



This is me with my parents. I've been looking for a picture of my mom and I only have two. One of her at my high school graduation and one at my college. So I picked this one. She has a chipped tooth so she doesn't like to smile, but no one can really notice the chipped tooth because it's minute(my-noot). Anyway, that's not the point of my post.

My mom has what is known commonly around our house as a "shit list". You don't want to get on it. And once you're on it, you're usually a lifer. On rare occasion you can get off, only to be put back on for something later. My dad has been on it since they've been married. My brothers really got on it when they started smoking in high school. Not good. The first time I got on it was when I was in high school and we were in Sacrament meeting and during one of the hymns I leaned over and told her she was singing too loud (come on that's horrifying for a teenager). She started crying and I made the list. She still brings that up. A few years ago my dad took my mom on a vacation and us kids invaded the house, threw away some things, organized a pantry for her and made a craft room. Sounds good? NOT GOOD. All 4 of us, bumped up to the top of her list. She likes her stuff how she likes it, and no one should mess. She still calls me every once in a while to ask where that "recipe" is that she hasn't been able to find since we cleaned out that room. I'm no dummy, before we went in there were two rules:

1. Do not throw away ANY recipes
2. Do not throw away any fabric

I know exactly where that recipe is. It's in the book I made that weekend called "Recipes" or it's in the other book I made that weekend "Recipes II"

Anyhow, so I talked to my mom this morning and we are all going out for her birthday dinner this Saturday. We used to do this when I was younger, we'd all get dressed up semi-nice and go to Black Angus. Then once people started getting married my dad closed his wallet--hence no more dinners out. So I convinced my dad to open it up again and take us all out. It's been over 15 years and he can just close his eyes and pay for it. So when I was talking to my mom today about it she said "You know that the ASU vs. UofA game is that night don't you?" I said--no. What she was alluding to is that my brothers (die hard ASU fans) might forfeit the family dinner to watch the game. She said "It doesn't bother me if they show up". I'm no dummy. What she meant was--if your brothers don't show up. They are on my shit list. So I feel it is my duty to warn them.

The other day my friend told me that she thinks that I am one of the nicest people she knows. And I said, you must not know very many people. The reasons she thinks that is because she's never made my shit list. Yes, it was inherited. I have one. Many people who are on it might not know they are on it, because I have cut them out of my life. Bad energy. But some do know, and I don't think they like it. Because, you see, I have this problem or gift I should say. I can't bluff. If I don't like you or you have made my shit list--I don't fake it. I don't smile and play nice. I don't even look you in the eye. My body language is apparent. It takes a good deal of stupidity to get on it, but some people can do it. A simple lack of integrity can do it. And if you are a person who cheats on your family---you're a lifer. I don't do kindly to those folks. I'm just saying.

So for Christmas I've decided to attempt to clear my list. I don't know if it's possible, because it is ingrained in me. It's such an integral part of my being. But I will try.

11 comments:

Mimi said...

Great Post!!!! I'm pretty sure I've never been on your list and I'll try my hardest to keep it that way. Less work for you really.

Micah and Jen said...

I love you Jill! And no...I'm not just saying that so I won't get on your list....but I love your honesty...you have always been such an honest person with me and I have appreciated more and more as time goes by. Thanks for being you and good luck with that list! :)

Anonymous said...

I have a shit list too, but I'm a sucker so people get off really easy. Way to stick to your guns! Hope your big clean up works out for you!

Cicily said...

I'd like to apply to be removed from your list.

Sheri said...

That's a good idea. I need to do that too. We can give out official certificates for Christmas that say "Temporarily Off My Shit List. Don't Screw It Up you Dumb A$$."

o said...

way to try to clear it off. cheaters = lifers in my book. and im not about to clear mine off either. ha! we both know what im talking about. i hope i never make your list. im not too worried about it though.

Tiffany said...

So I guess Norm is a lifer, right?

I think this is hilarious. I would love to hear your list and the offenses that got them on the list.

Crazymamaof6 said...

i have a list too. and it's hard to get off. usually people on there keep doing it again and again. therefore staying on the list. my kids fear being on my list. although they can get off,if they do extra chores. sometimes. depends on the kid.

on another note...
i saw tea pots/kettles? at TJmaxx not sure that they were the color you were looking for. no pink , metallic red. NICE AQUA. all under 20 bucks. but worth keeping an eye out for. and I've spaced looking at other stores. but will let you know if i see any worth mentioning.

onehm said...

I applaud you for giving such a selfless gift for Christmas to your enemies...
:)

Lindsay Jones said...

I really enjoyed this post. I might need to create a shit list, bet you didn't know I say shit, I do, its not a super bad word at our house. It scares me to think about being on that list!

liz said...

you totally crack me up with this post.

and I know exctly what you mean about not being able to play nice to someone on The List!

We really do need to have lunch.