Dear Other Mothers,
GRRRR.
I told the girls that when they got home from school today they would have to have their rooms cleaned before they could leave. Josie and Kizzy share a room. So I told Josie that I would have Kizzy clean half of the room, and she'd have to do the other half when she got home.
During the day Kizzy said "Mom, come look I cleaned the room!" And she had. Minus a few random items like a ruler, some game pieces and a few other objects she had stuck in a box on Josie's desk.
So I pick the girls up from the bus stop, and Josie's friend asks her over, so I let her go home with them, but she needed to come get her eye patch. So they walk over to our house and Josie gets on an eye patch, and I show her her room and say, "Kizzy cleaned this for you--isn't that nice of her?"
and Of COURSE--the brattiest of brats says:
"But look what she did--she put a whole bunch of stuff on my desk--that's not cleaning!"
the words " ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!" come out of my mouth. And she says, "well--she put all of this stuff on my desk".
So of course my short temper forced my arm to swipe all of the crap off her desk and on the floor. "There--now YOU can clean it up"
Then I let into her about how her reaction should have been to run to Kizzy and say thank you a million times for doing her chores.
And she just kept saying, "well . . but . . well"
And I grabbed her by the back of the neck and told her that she WOULD go and thank Kizzy--and then she would do ALL of Kizzy's chores next week. WITHOUT whining
"well, . . .but . . . well"
Then I said "That's it! You are grounded all of next week--AND you have her chores. Now clean this up."
And then I walked away so I wouldn't pull her hair out.
She has been super rotten lately, and this was the worst.
But now I'm regretting grounding her--because then she's stuck in the house with me for a week.
So I need something more creative--and punishing--something that would help her to remember to be grateful. And not so bratty.
What ideas to you have?
Anyone??
xoxo Me
6 comments:
No ideas here...isn't that always the challenge? Coming up with the appropriate discipline is difficult. I always just end up sending them to their room.
But it makes me feel good that I'm not the only mom that loses it! Thanks for the candid post.
Its me again. As I was threatening my kids this morning with the "3 strikes" rule I thought, I should tell this to Jill.
My 2 youngest have been fighting a lot lately so I give them 3 strikes: I tape up a piece of paper on the wall and put an "x" on it every time they fight. Once they get to 3 they have to work. I usually make them clean the bathrooms...which they normally like doing, but when they have to do it because they were being naughty, its a pretty good threat. Anyway, I have this philosophy that if they are fighting or being rude or complaining or whatever, then they obviously need to "forget themselves and go to work." Anyway, that seems to be my best solution these days, but somedays the kids clean the toilet then walk right out and start fighting again. So then they have to come in and do the sinks...but at least we get a clean bathroom out of it. Good luck!
In a similar incident, we made Child A (the turd) be Child B's (the kind & generous one) slave for the week. Or for a day, whatever timeframe fits the punishment. Most anything goes. A has to do whatever B asks of them except homework and I'm sure there may be other things that are not allowed. And they have to do it without complaining or they'll have a day tacked on to original time frame.
Our "timeouts" I guess you could call them are, the child has to put their nose on the wall. Tip of nose only, hands behind the back. They hate it, (and we can silently laugh behind them at how funny they look)! When they are fighting WITH eachother, we've had them stand with the tips of their noses on eachother. So funny to see them nose to nose, especially when they are mad at eachother. They usually end up laughing w/eachother and best friends again.
Goodluck! And I too, am always glad to hear I'm not the only parent that "loses" it with my kids!
Sounds like my oldest. Nothing is ever good enough for her. I totally dug my nails in her arms and shoved her at Chipotle the other day because she wouldn't stop complaining about everything on the menu. So she got nothing. Then she said she'd never eat again. (That lasted 4 hours.)No advice here, I'm just glad I'm not the only one who flips out over ungratefulness.
I would say that her doing Kizzy's chores is appropriate. and I always take away special priveledges when they're bad.
Love the comments. Glad to know that I am totally normal (in the parenting realm, anyways). I figure that you have to keep trying at different punishments and some will work all the time and some will only work at certain ages. I do know that our kids are a lot tougher than we think and they could totally live in their rooms for a week (if they got grounded). I've even told them about how kids went to bed without dinner "in the olden days!" And to not 'push it' 'cause it's gonna be them one day when they make me snap. Ha ha. Good luck!
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