A public mothers day card

I never think to get anything in the mail on time. So my mother will have to do with this.

It is well known among my friends that I have the confidence and self-esteem that is above and beyond what they've ever encountered. I attribute this to 2 things:

My mother and father

So in order to give props to the woman who helped me become such, I will divulge what things she has done to contribute to such a mindset--and also to acknowledge that my brothers and sister are also confident, independent and super likeable.

Ode to my mother:

*She listens. My mom isn't much of a talker. In this she is genius. Because I am a talker. So she would just listen. Now that I am older I realized that I divulged way more to her about the goings on in my life in order to cut silence in a car ride. I think she was able to keep reigns on me, and gauge my danger level because she listened and knew when to actually speak up.

*She doesn't take crap. She doesn't take it from anyone. Not me, not my siblings, not anyone from the outside world. If you choose to try to give her some, you will be dismissed. Dismissed from her presence. She won't come around--nor let you. Thus she surrounds herself with people who are good hearted, fun people. I've done this all my life--it wasn't until I just wrote this that I realized I somehow inherited this from her.

*She serves. She was the pianist/organist in our ward her entire life in some auxilary or another. I really can't remember her having any other calling. That would seriously make me want to stop going. But she loves it and keeps doing it. And when they finally did cut her off--she just about went crazy. But she accepted her next calling--although not enthusiastically--but of course does it like a champ. What a fantastic example this has been to me.

*She expects to be respected. I have never said the word "no" to my mother. NOT EVER. I can't remember ever attempting to do it--so I don't know what would have happened. But I do know that I am still scared to do so. When my mother asks you to do something you do it. Doesn't matter who you are. Son, daughter, son in law, grandchild, best friend from high school--it doesn't matter. She taught me to respect adults. And because of this I am teaching my kids the same.

*She had genius parenting skills. When I was in 7th or 8th grade (in the late 80's) my friend and I discovered the magnificence of eyeshadow. Half pink/half blue eyelids. Hideous. It drove my father CRAZY. And he kept suggesting to my mother that she do something about it. And my mom's response? "Her friends will take care of her". Meaning--they'll make fun of her and then she'll stop. And she never said a word to me about it. And as you notice--I no longer do that. In fact I don't really wear makeup if I don't have to. Genius.

*She has your back. Once my mother lets you in her circle, she will take a knife to anyone who wrongs you in anyway. (she hasn't ever really knifed anyone--that I know of). My point is that she is a good friend and relative. She is loyal and will do anything to help anyone that she loves.

*She taught all of her kids to deal with reality. Although I don't think she uses these terms--"suck it up" or "be a man", those are the things I'm talking about. We weren't allowed to whine--about anything. Just get it done and deal with it. So, as far as I know, my siblings nor I sit around and feel sorry for ourselves. Sucky things happen--to everyone. Deal with it. I remember a specific time when I was told by a doctor that I wasn't able to have children (which is a fantastic story if I ever get around to telling it), and I told her that everything was going to be fine. And most mothers would try to soften the blow--not my mom. Thinking that I was in denial, she patted my hand and said, "you need to deal with this." And I did, and I'm all the better for it.

*She can do hard things. She took all 4 of us kids to church every week by herself. I dread the days that Hyrum works on Sundays because it is hard. And she did it. Bravo to you mother.

*She doesn't sweat the small stuff. My mother set VERY CLEAR rules and boundaries in our house. My curfew was midnight. Not 12:01. Midnight. Period. And when I overstepped those boundaries I suffered consequences. But other than that--she was pretty hands off. She let us govern ourselves within the boundaries her and my dad had set. And this made us all very independent and capable people.

*She didn't fight our battles. My mom would defend us if she needed to, but other than that we were expected to fight out own battles. I had friends whose moms would call other moms when they got into tiffs. And girls get into tiffs--all the time. My mom didn't. It was my business, my doing, my situation, and I was left to deal with it. And that helped me so much as an Adult knowing that I was capable to deal with the crap that was dealt to me.

*She's Independent. I'm not worried about my mother. She is quite capable of taking care of herself, and as I wrote before, she can deal with stuff--just like she taught us to. It's nice to know that if something ever went down--she'd be alright. Because as she always says, "I am a big girl. I can take care of myself." Which usually means leave her alone. I get that. I am that. I am a very independent person. I can deal with stuff by myself, I can go places by myself (like when I travelled for 2 weeks without my travel companion in Europe), I can be by myself. My sister is the same. We are big girls--because our mother taught us to be.

So as you can see I have big shoes to fill in my own children's lives. Was my mother perfect? No. But luckily my memory sucks so bad I can't remember her doing anything bad. I only hope that I can be half the mother mine is.

And mom: I may not look like you, AT ALL. But turns out I'm more like you than we both ever knew.

Love you lots.

xoxo Me.