Somehow our dinner scripture study which was focused on priesthood blessing and the power for God to heal, turned to where babies come from. Randomly, my friend and I had just been having the conversation on how to impart that wisdom to our children.
I learned in 3rd grade. Not from my parents, but from my friend whose mom was much more open and liberal. She was a good girl, it wasn't like a trashy thing, but I learned LOTS. 3rd grade. Guess what grade Annabelle is entering. . .
That's right.
So it's up to me to be the front line. She had asked some sort of question and she said, "you know. Like when moms and dads kiss and the seed goes from the dad to the mom" She was saying the men do have babies (because of the seed part) because I was talking about the glorious blessing that was given specifically to women to be creators and carriers of life.
Luckily, my friend had told me that she had read in a book to make it exciting and special like she was going to be in on a big secret that was JUST WONDERFUL.
So that's what I did.
I said "That's not how it works. But dad and I are going to tell you soon."
and she excitedly said, "Tell me now! I want to know"
and I said, "I can't. We only get to tell you when you are 8 and there are some kids around the table who aren't 8. But it's going to be great and you'll get to know something very, very special and sacred. You'll get to know how it work! It's very important (meanwhile I have a big exciting smile on my face) and it's also very sacred. Do you know what sacred means?"
She shook her head no
I said "It means it's something that Heavenly Father thinks is very special and spiritual. So we are going to make a time for just you, dad and I to get together and it's going to be super great."
So now what do I do?
Come on people, give me what you got. Either what you did that worked, or didn't work. Books, tips, suggestions.
Help a girl out here. I'm now on a timeline.
8 comments:
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I think the best approaches are either to make it seem like a big deal in a good way, or to be nonchalant about it. The main thing is not to make it seem bad or scary-- they'll learn in church when and how sex should be used, but you want to set them up with the paradigm that it's a good thing. I think you're doing a great job!
My son learned in 1st grade....from an awful foul mouthed child and I didn't even know until this summer that he had learned anything at all. It was horrible! I have had to tell him things I didn't know how to say or what to say....But I did. And he was very accepting and understood that it was a glorious wonderful thing that is ONLY to be shared as husband and wife. It's so scary to send our children out in this world....and to think they are protected when the work of Satan is so strong. You are doing great and I know you and hy will do wonderful at teaching your children what is best. I only wish I had thought to do the same thing much,much, much sooner! Best of luck!!!!
Hey! Oh the fun. I got this book called Growing Up, Gospel answers about maturation and sex..by Brad Wilcox. It was super helpful because it used gospel standards and views to help you make a gameplan! Troy and I just talked to our boys a couple months ago..ya we were WAY late cuz Troy is such a chicken!! BUT...it went perfect! They both knew alot of stuff they had heard, but we talked about the right way, etc..and had a good talk about what they knew and cleared up any misunderstandings and such. This book helped formulate it into organized way to start and finish.You will do great! It actually was very neat and special talk for us!
We read the book by Richard and Linda Eyre (Talking to kids about sex). Sounds like that might be the one you're talking about. When we talked to Emery, we took her out to dinner by herself on a special date and then came home, put the boys to bed and told her in a real casual but totally straightforward way. We used all the real words (while I tried not to laugh) and told her how great and wonderful it was WHEN YOU ARE MARRIED. We told her it wasn't for her to tell other kids and to ask us if she ever had questions. That was a couple of years ago and she always asks us questions and doesn't seem embarrassed at all. We tell her the answers like it's no big deal and that has worked so far. Good luck!
I just got the Richard and Linda Eyre book. You can borrow it when I'm done. We have to have "the talk" with my oldest before she enters the 3rd grade too. I'm glad you posted this because I'm scared and need advice.
In my child development class the teacher said you have GOT to beat everyone else in telling your kids. So however early that is, do it. He said to make it sacred and special, and not to act like you are embarrassed at all. Just like you are doing, that it's great, special, and sacred. Then when other kids are giggling and talking about it, your kids won't be interested, because they already know, and they know the truth, and they know it's sacred.
I seriously don't think you need advice on this. Your conversation with Annabelle is almost identical to the example conversation in that book I'm reading.
That's weird - Annabell has good timing! At least you were a little prepared. The book I have is the Eyre's book. I'll bring it to our next get together. You, Shari, and I can do some brainstorming.
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