It's 7:30 a.m.

It's 7:30 a.m. on a Saturday morning. I've been up since 6:04. My house is dirty and I don't want to clean it because my kids made the mess. I let them, because I didn't feel well last night, but still--not my mess. I'm fighting cleaning it because I actually have the energy. But the point is that they need to learn to clean up after themselves. So I sat down at the computer abut 20 minutes ago and just started waisting time. F.Y.I. none of the girls clothing store carry the boyfriend jeans for the Fall. BOOO. Unless you are a plus size, then GAPKIDS has some left for $10! My kids are unplus. While looking at jeans I realized they are all ugly. I"m done with skinny, I'm done with bootcut, and flare has sucked for a while. My kids have to wear pants to school which bites. Really? At least let them wear capris or something. Ugh. I picked the school so I really shouldn't complain. I'm hungry, but I don't want cereal. Now that I actually have started looking at the ingredients I don't want to eat cereal. I've really started to annoy myself with my current obsession about food. Nothing is healthy unless I'm eating straight vegetables. (Calli I partially blame you) Processed food has really freaked me out lately. And although we just found THE MOST DELICIOUS home made Mac n' Cheese recipe, I felt guilty the whole time I was eating it because it wasn't nutritious. I want to get out of my head. I used to think alot like this in college and I remember talking to my friend Ryan Solomon about how we wish we could just turn out brains off. I can't quit thinking and it's driving me crazy. The other day I got depressed because I have a happy and relatively easy life while there are service men and women out there who are fighting and living in the heat with crappy conditions. I couldn't stop feeling guilty about it. WHAT? I can't fix that. Out of my control. But still won't stop thinking about it. And I'm already worried about who my three girls will marry and if they will be able to have children. WHAT??? My oldest is 8. I'm just afraid that with the way things are now, it is just going to be worse years from now and all of the boys will be stupid shmucks who aren't good enough and I'll just have to bite my lip and watch them deal with hard things. Then what if my son ends up being one of those creepy shmucks that tries to feel a girl up on the first date? Then my kid is a creepy Mormon boy (I've dated some) that can't control his hormones. WHAT?? Then what about Obama? Czars scare the hell out of me. I've never been scared for the future of America, I've never felt it be so divided, I've never been this scared of Government control. And the more I read about the founding fathers the more I realize how out of touch this government is (and former governments) from what they were trying to set up and I fear that due to my lack of knowledge of history and others lack as well, we are doomed to make horrible decisions. It feels so divided. The Government is suing our State for enforcing a FEDERAL LAW. That is just absurd. And on NPR the guest said that what is written in the 25 page lawsuit was something to the effect of "This law will disrupt relations with Mexico" and that is one of the major factors in the lawsuit. UM???? WHAT??? You know what disrupts my relations with Mexico?? The fear of death if I go there. Um, their drug cartels telling our law enforcement that they have snipers set up on the other side of the border and to watch their step, or a rancher being killed on his own land, or 20 people being killed 12 miles from the AZ border 20! I think Arizona should file a counter lawsuit against the feds for NOT enforcing federal law. What about all of the people who do it the legal way, file papers and do all of what is required of them to become citizens. What about them? What a slap in the face it is to see others do it illegally and get away with it. This morning I thought about how annoyed I am when I stand in line for a new movie, get their hours early so I can get a seat, sit and listen to stupid people talk about stupid things, and finally they let the line go and then I watch someone walk past the line and just sneak in the front. I want to rip their hair out. And that is just a movie. It doesn't affect my whole life. I couldn't imagine what the legal immigrants feel like. WHAT?? I want eggs for breakfast, and went to Fresh and Easy thursday to pick up some things. On my list was eggs 99 cents for 18 count. So I was going to load up. and I forgot. So now I"m eggless, and as you know I can't eat cereal. Toast is out because it's processed. My stomach is growling.

All of this by 7:30 a.m. (and I kept A LOT to myself)