Filling time

It's Friday and we don't have much to do around here. I told them summer officially starts on Monday, because that is when swim lessons start, and we have them all month. So I'm enjoying my week of doing nothing, hanging around the house, and accepting my messy house as a place where kids are having fun, and staying out of my hair. That's a first.

So Red asked to play on Photo Booth. I love my MAC. They were entertained for a while between photos and video. This is the most interesting of the bunch.

Anyhow, check out the video, it's not all that interesting, but it gets entertaining towards the end when Red combines her two talents.

Things you should know about this video:

1. Everything Red talks about is made up--we've done nothing today.

2. It's worth watching once to pay attention to Red (the redhead), then watch it again and pay attention to The juice (the blonde).

3. The Juice is a random kid. P.S. to Molly ---Can you name the movie that Josie is singing/quoting?

And the winner . . .

. .. .is


Ashley Rogers!!!!


Congrats Ashley.

The actual total for the gas on our trip was $445.81

Unfortunately for you, due to the fact that I spent all of my money on gas, there is no prize.

However, you have won 5 minutes of uninterrupted eye contact from me.

11:44 pm snack

I thought I should go back to blogging my snacking. Check me out--a healthy salad.

And that is a tomato from my garden (pots). More on that later.

Gas contest!

Not a passing gas contest . . . just to clarify.


So as you know we went to Utah last week. The price of gas of course is OUTRAGEOUS. And therefore, our trip ---gas wise--was expensive. So I thought I'd hold a little contest to see if anyone can guess how much we spent in gas. Here are the details:

Our vehicle: 1994 Chevy Suburban

Miles travelled in the suburban: 1,350

We drove it to Utah, then we parked it and drove Hy's parents car: 1990 Honda

We drove that car to Ogden and back (from Provo), as well as to Salt Lake and back, and then to various joints around Provo.

Then we drove the suburban home to Mesa.

The lowest price per gallon we filled up with is $3.49 The most expensive was $3.63.


So how much did we spend in gas for this trip?

26.2

Why in the world would anyone want to run for 4 hours straight?

I have no idea.

But Hy did, and I'm proud of him for it.

Unfortunately I looked off just a mili-second before he crossed the line. I think i was watching someone pass out, and when I turned back I had missed the perfect photo-op. But I still got him under the clock, just not what I had envisioned in my head.

Hy ran the Ogden marathon last weekend. It was fun to go and watch all the people crossing. Some were still smiling, some were throwing up, and some were passing out. I was there early enough to see some qualify for the Boston marathon and that was exciting for them and for me to watch.




Here is Hy with his finishing medal, and his bloody nipple. OUCH.

Randomly enough he has decided to do it again, and go for a tri-athalon. Not the full ones, one of the smaller ones. But good for him.

Looks like I get to watch more passing out, vomiting and celebration. Woo-hoo!

Look who's 4

Today is the Juice's Birthday. At least she thinks today is her birthday. Actually it was last Friday. But we were in a hotel room in Ogden, Utah because Hy was running a marathon the next day. What a lame birthday that would have been. So we just pretended that it wasn't that day and we told her it was today. So when she woke up we said "You're 4 today". Then Red said: "No, she's already 4, I heard you tell Jami and Jarin (our friends in Utah) that she already had her birthday--she's already 4". And we just kept ignoring her and saying "Today's your birthday!!!" The poor middle child, already getting shafted.




So anyway, she started off with a donut cake--what could be better? Our kids love them. Then if you are a slacker parent and do nothing else for the rest of the day--they don't seem to mind because they had an awesome breakfast cake. Hy worked last night and is sleeping today so we have nothing planned. Luckily my good friend Darcy is taking her girls to see Whorton Hears a Who, and so we're going with and I told them it was for The Juice's birthday. They think it's great. She'll get a birthday dinner with cake on Sunday at her grandma's, so she's not totally shafted.

This girl is the best. She's happy with anything. So funny and sweet and super fun. She's a party--at all times, even 6 a.m. when I don't want to party. I love her so much. I can't believe she's 4. Happy Birthday Juice!

Moron

Red: Mom is moron a bad word?

Me: Well, it's not a bad word, it's just not a nice word.

Red: Because The Juice just called me a moron


Me: The juuuiiiiicccceee (as she is walking into the room)

The Juice's face:



The Juice: Well . . . .

Me: Where did you hear that word?

The Juice: Well, I um ... I just made it up.

Poll

Is it wrong? . . . a hypothetical poll:

A child of yours that has been blatantly disobedient all day and pushing all of your buttons goes into a room that you forbid her to go into (for the umpteenth time that day) and tries to shut out her sister. Then when the sister tries to push her way in and the mother comes and says "open it" she then continues to put all her weight against the door, is it wrong to reach through the small crack in the door, grab her by the hair and pull her out said opening?

This is purely hypothetical.

No children were injured in this hypothetical scenario.

Not a Saint

So . . . often I read blogs where I think--man this mother has it together. She bakes, and reads to her kids, keeps her house clean and doesn't complain about her husband or children. I bet she doesn't swear either. Then I think, either she's lying or just trying to be really really positive.

Then today happened and I thought---what would that mother have done when:

Baby squoosh was wearing a ballet outfit (comando) and said "I poops". I knew she didn't because she for some reason won't poop directly on to cloth. So I took it off and sat her on the toilet. She said "I'm done". Which means--I pretended and that was fun so I'm getting down now. Being that she did nothing into the toilet I put a diaper on because poop was a coming soon. Then I walked away, then I came back and there was Baby squoosh-----

naked, standing on a stool in the bathroom (luckily) with mushy soft pooh running down the back of her leg onto the stool where giant pile was, then running down the stool leg onto the WHITE rug where another giant pile was. I swear it was 4 days worth although she pooped yesterday.

so I go yell some shocking sort of "Oooh nooooo" and grab her and stand her in the tub, as I was in the process of that I get pooh on my exercise shoes. Then I go blank--where do I start? Right then The juice runs in right through the middle. "AAAAHHH GET OUT!!" "DONT' STEP IN IT!" Then I grab the ENTIRE box of wipes and start cleaning up Squoosh's mooshy back side/leg/foot. Then I pile those nasty beasts on the floor and start putting water in the tub, but then I have to rinse down the residual first and Keep Squoosh from stepping in it. Meanwhile my pregnant nose is going nuts trying not to gag. Then The juice comes running in again narrowly missing the beasts on the floor and I snag her arm (not very softly), turn her around and yell "There is $*#@ everywhere! Get out!!!" Then I turn around and some other profanity starts on my lips, but I bite it back. "GGRRRRR!!!!" Then I get the bathtub going. Then I wipe the crap off of my shoes as well as I can. Then I run out and get a grocery bag to collect all of the crap filled wipey beasts. Then I try to grab/smoosh the crap off of the stool into the bag with the wipe. It's an old wooden stool with crevices---yuck. I proceed to wipe it off the leg. Then there is the giant mooshy pile on the white rug. Wipes, wipes and more wipes. It take a deep breath and hold it while I pile all the nasty wipey beasts in the trash bag so I don't get a whif and dry heave.

I leave my almost two year old ALONE in the bathtub UNATTENDED while I run the nasty crap filled bag the the garbage. I come back to the bath, she's enjoying her lovely solo bath lying back with only her face above water. Good, she's good, now it's the rugs. I leave her AGAIN, and with two fingers grab both bath mats and take then outside. Come back and grab the stool. She's playing and enjoying herself so I go outside, turn on the hose and spray the crap off of the rugs and the stools. Luckily it comes off without me having to touch it. I love the power of a sprayer.

I come back in and wipe the bathroom down with a clorox wipe--including my shoe. But the bathroom still smells like a poop explosion. I get Baby Squoosh out and put a diaper on her and TAPE IT ON. Although I know there's nothing left inside--it would be impossible.

So later, and I calm down and everything is sanitary again I think---what do mom's who don't use profanity do in that situation? I would have loved to watch my saintly Relief Society President--who really seems genuinely just good and kind--take care of that situation? Because as hard as I suppressed it, I couldn't help but swear. And I've been doing really good at not swearing. But seriously--poop and lots of it. How was I supposed to be chill about that? So I started thinking about what my friends would do--and realized they would swear too. Maybe I need saintlier friends. And I thought, what would those blogging moms do about this? I guarantee if they wrote about it it would be in some sort of cheery tone, or not written of at all.

So I'm here to let you all breathe a nice sigh of imperfect relief.

I am NOT a Saint.


P.B. (Post Blog) Not more than 1 minute after I posted this--Baby Squoosh walked in with a crap filled diaper (I guess it wasn't impossible) But that puppy was still securely taped on.

Score:

Baby Squoosh 1

Mom 1

The results

I had planned on not finding out with this baby. But Hy found out and so the tech put the picture in my file. When the doctor came in for my appointment, this picture was on top and me made a comment something like:

"He's quite proud of himself"

And I sat there shocked because

A) I didn't want to know

B) No way-I'm having a boy . . . what do I do now?

I think it looks like he sat on a photocopier. Funny.

Translator

When Hy and I put the kids to bed at night we take the time to catch up, read scriptures and take time off as parents. Often, our children don't dig this idea. We usually lock the bedroom door and they talk to us from the space at the bottom. Sometimes we get communications slipped to us.


Here is one:

Can you translate? Give it a try before you read the bottom.







Figured it out? The picture says "I want Mommy"

The next says:

"I want mommy. I can't sleep. I can hear dogs bark. Sincerely, Annabelle."

Annbelle is "Red" I was too lazy to scratch it out. She's an excellent artist. She does Spalding at school so she spellls everything phonetically.

p.s. That picture got cut off and I'm too lazy to reload it. Either blogger or Photobucket hates me. I'm not sure which