Red had a friend come over and teach her how to make paper dolls. While she was making it she said
Red: "Mom what's that shirt that is short like this (puts her hand up right about her rib cage)
My reply:"I have no idea"
Red: "You know mom--what are they called?"
Me: "Immodest?"
Red: Yah, that's it, I want to make an immodest paper doll.
Me: (in my mind)--What the crap?
Here she is---her immodest paper doll.
Let it be known--that I am not a stickler for modesty. At least not at this age. I grew up in the latter part of the 70's and all little girls wore those itchy, spaghetti strapped, belly showing little numbers---and I turned out alright (mostly)
So I figure, she's little--who cares. Although I don't let her show her stomach, I do let her wear spaghetti straps and sundresses. She also gets tankini's for summer, because it's easier for her to go to the bathroom--it's not that I don't like one pieces, it's for ease of use, and she usually just swims in my friend's pool.
But somehow, she has got some sort of fascination with immodesty. The other day, she said---I like it when my stomach shows (as she was getting into her two piece swimsuit), and so I kind of prompted her as to why. She said she likes to do it like "those moms---at least I think they are moms". I said "What moms?" She said "The ones on TV".
Ummm, we don't have a TV. She mostly watches movies--disney movies, and occassionally tv shows at other's houses. But really---who is she talking about?
Anyhoodles, so this will be the last summer she gets a two piece. But seriously--do I just let her make immodest paper dolls? I am torn between not paying attention to it, and letting it slide by as a phase, or mentioning that immodesty is not a good thing--and those moms she sees on tv are trashy.
Oh, and i think her immodest doll is funny
So other parents---what you got for me?
8 comments:
My five-year-old went through that. She would draw mermaids and then taunt me with their being "immodest." I showed her how bored I was. She wanted immodest Barbie clothes, I was like "I think we have some in the drawer, they're just kind of ugly."
and she wanted to be "immodest Jasmine" for Halloween. I made her costume: satin harem pants, satin cap-sleeved shirt with a hem at the rib cage, and a glamorous fur-trimmed cape like in our book when Jasmine and Aladdin visits the snow. And a lotta jewelry. She thought the tummy-showing was a big deal, but she didn't get any big reactions from our family, or from a California neighborhood that wouldn't consider 3 inches of abdomen noticeable.
The funniest part is they way they use "immodest" as an adjective. I think she got it from her older sisters who amplify what they hear at church. Possibly Primary (I hope not.)
I don't think it is a winning strategy when the parents and the community show they are fascinated with immodesty in children.
http://segullah.org/small-epiphanies/the-modesty-war/
oh well, i'm kind of in the same boat but we have only had one pieces since my oldest didn't want her belly to show at all, so everyone gets the same.
BUT my 6 year old is wanting a hoochie bikini, and talking about being immodest too. must be the age.
i'd consider the paper doll to be wearing a bra, and she need clothes to cover it, everyone wears underclothes right? oh mine is obsessed with bras too, namely mine.
rad!
no advice as much as it must be the age.
someone at church pointed out that Belle wears her dress off the shoulder and that is immodest. I'd never caught that. has Red been watching Aladdin? or little mermaid? both are belly show-ers.
i'm not especially prude about it, but i think now sets the stage for the fights in the future. if i don't want to fight it later, i don't buy it. then again,i'm the kind of mom that totally thinks wear that bikini while you are HOT instead of fat. So i may be that kind of mom buying short skirts, and bikinis for my girls in H.S. since they will have the bodies for it then, they may as well enjoy it.
but the older i get the pruder i get too. so there is no telling what will actually happen.
i do sleeveless, but rarely spaghetti strap, and they wear short skirts because they have LONG legs. everything is short on them.
Good times, good luck with that one. No comment here!
haha..jill this one is great! My advice is just continue to enforce the fact that it is immodest, and leave it. The more you push it, the more it becomes exciting! It definitely is the age too, and it will get easier. My girls, 14 and 13 are so great about it all. I am also not too strict on spaghetti straps, etc, until they get around 11 or so..then I make them wear less of that..young womens its a no no! its hard for me cuz I wore all that too and it wasnt as bad as it is now. Everything is worse now for the youth..like my girls havent even kissed a boy yet..yeah! thank goodness they dont know how old I was when I had my first kiss:) good luck with this!!
THIS is why I wanted all boys! I am so scared to have girls....but I too think her paper doll is pretty funny! She's a great little artist.....I have no suggestions....but I'm going to be asking you a million questions all about girls....first off, how do I change a diaper for a girl? So many extra crevaces....scary!
I still can't get over the fact that you don't have a t.v.
You are my idol. Seriously.
jessy was allowed to wear bikinis til she was 5 and then it's a one piece from there on out, til she has moved out. i saw these girls the other day out with their family hiking to these waterfalls and the two daughters who were maybe in the 14 the 17 range and they had on these super skimpy bikini tops and it totally creeped me out that their dad was right there, like here are my hot little young daughters, it was so gross, i mean if you are going to wear that at least sneek it. anyway, jessy is facinated by her belly as well, i think it is just a phase, but bodies are pretty and i think that should be acknowleged and then you set the rules. i try not to make a big deal out of it either. i think the bigger deal you make the bigger deal they make. and yes you tell them the moms on tv are trashy!! you tell them that moms with squishy buns are the good ones!!!
jill, i just had to comment on this...claire is the same way on this issue...all the time. its so weird.
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