It's not real so stop

Please everyone stop pinning images like this. THEY ARE NOT REAL.

Well, I guess some of them are real, but I would say they aren't REALISTIC.

It's been driving me crazy for some time now. Because not one of the people who post these--look like this, or at least I haven't noticed one.

So that means everyone out there posts these to remind themselves of what they "should" look like, or at least aspire to.

Let me tell you--at my fittest in college I was tiny. I had a six pack if I flexed--well a 4 pack, for some reason I could never find the bottom two. I remember asking my boxing instructor how to get rid of the little layer of fat I had just below my belly button, and she said--you can't--you are a woman and it is there for a purpose. But I still tried.

I didn't have a body image problem, I ate as much as I wanted, and exercised because I loved to but I still wanted that six pack.

Fast forward to now. I have had four kids. I still have the same frame--haven't gained an inch past my all time high of 5 feet.

With every child I layered on some---dare I say it--- FAT!! *cringe* (Please sense my sarcasm)

Am I fat? No. I am tiny, but I do have a gut that sticks out over my jeans that often prompts people to ask if I am pregnant. I also have got that weird muscle thing that sometimes happens to pregnant women, where their muscles spread apart and don't go back--that contributes to what I lovingly refer to as my "beer gut"

Why am I telling you this? Well, because I know people refer to me as tiny and many people wish that their only problem was a beer gut and slightly thicker thighs. I want everyone to know that I do not look like that picture nor will I ever.

Even at my most fittest since my four kids--I weighed 113 and was working out regularly and eating well--I looked nowhere near this picture. I wish I would have taken a picture of myself just so I could post it. I was strong and healthy. And had I taken that picture, I doubt it would have been pinned as a strong and healthy body.

There were no ab muscles in site, and plenty of cellulite on my thighs and rear. And don't forget those lovely stretch marks.

So my point here is mostly to give up. (wow I'm a motivator!) But seriously--if this is your goal--give up. The only people I've ever seen that look like this post baby--are eating nothing, have a messed up body image, are taking some weird synthetic chemical ("it's not synthetic--it come from a pig"--someone actually told me--um, gross) or they straight up need to sort out their priorities.

Don't expect to look like this--is it possible? Yes probably, but seriously--women are given fat--yes FAT--that word again, so that they can protect and provide for those wonderful babies they are lucky to carry.

So embrace it. Bring back the Marilyn Monroes. Be curvy, be soft, be a woman.

You can be this--and be healthy and strong.

Either way--be REAL--istic.

The randomness streaming from my head

So many things, so absolutely random.

First. Watch this it's super cool.




second.

I was randomly thinking about p0rn stars the other day. And thinking--do they have fathers? They biologically have fathers but do they have Dads? Is it something where their dad didn't love them so they became one, OR they do it secretly, OR they do it openly and their parents are horrified, OR are there some crazy loon Dads that pipe up when others dads get together bragging about their kids, . . . my daughter has 5 kids, my daughter is a physical therapist, my daughter is a dolphin trainer, then pipes up to those and says, "My daughter is a very famous p0rn star". ---cricket chirping--- And what if their dads looked at P0rn and were looking around and found their daughter's work? ---um----- This is world is messed up people. M.E.S.S.E.D. UP (and apparently so is my brain that I think of stuff like that)

third

So that reminded me of a story I think I might have told once, but I am going to tell it again. I was on a flight on a Southwest airline--sitting in that section that as three seats on one side and three seats on the other and they are facing each other. I was with my college buddies and we were returning home from visiting a friend in another city. I was reading and LDS book called, "Why say no when the world says YES" It was about abstinence until marriage. So some early 30's dude across from me jovially said "Why says no when the world Says Yes huh?" And being that I am as comfortable with strangers as I am with friends, I took it as an invitation. We bantered, and jokingly jabbed at one another for 10 minutes or so. Of course he was taking the world's side while I was defending mine. And then I said, "Do you have a daughter?" He said, "Yes I do, she's 12" And I said, "Well, would you rather her live the way I live or live the way you live?" And he smiled in defeat "the way you live". And that was it. I saw out of the corner of my eye a stranger smirking. I wish I had that on video.

fourth

If you plan on mailing citrus to anyone--get the priority mail boxes and the post office that have the price already set no matter what you fill it with, because if you don't you'll pay over twice as much for shipping. Those things are heavy.

fifth

If you want to become more organized--buy one of those dymo label makers. It will make you want to organize stuff just so you can put labels on the containers. Well, at least, that is how it is with me.

sixth

I have decided that my word for the year is SIMPLIFY

In practical terms it means "Throw crap away"

THAT I can do. I like to make reachable goals. It makes me feel successful.

For those who are waiting

For those of you who are waiting--I wanted to share this.

This is our new TV. This is the first one we've purchased in our entire marriage. It's the first one I've purchased in my life--I am 36. We've always had hand me downs--and when we upgraded--it was because we got a new hand me down.

We have a lot of stuff like that--like our mattress. We've never had a new mattress, it was always given to us from someone. And now that I say that outloud it seems gross--but we were very particular I assure you.

And it's hard to watch your friends get cool stuff--even just normal stuff like mattresses, and to not be able to get one yourself.

Hyrum worked extra shifts to buy this--and he's wanted one for years---YEARS. But we work hard to not be frivilous with our money. Many a person has helped us out here and there financially, or with service and we could never justify purchasing something that seems to me extravagant as it would be a slap in the face. Until now. We actually have money in the bank--and that is beyond amazing. We paid cash for this. And it didn't come out of any budget allotted for anything else--it was a special purchase.

And it feels good to be able to do it.

So for those who are waiting--in neverending school, or with a new baby, or in that apartment that is too small and in a sketchy area--your time will come. When the time comes you may be in your mid thirties and buying something that seems to be a big deal to you--when it means so little to others. But it will feel good--real good.

To me things are always better when you have to sacrifice--and wait.

Besides--it makes for a great story.


Post Script: As I was reading my entry after I posted it I noticed my hilarious picture. Is that rabbit ears on top of my band new TV??---why yes it is. We are frivilous enough to buy a new TV--but not enough to pay for Cable. Bahhaaa! You can take the girl out of the ghetto but can't take the ghetto out of the girl.

My Barefoot Kid

The big Question:

So how did it go?

The Answer:

FANTASTIC!

She loves it. And I love it. I never realized how much I was affected by her school--and her being at her school.

I have always been a "suck it up and deal with it" sort of person. And the older I get--the more that is softening. I put her in Franklin--which is a back to basics school--because I wanted her to get a good education and I thought I could supplement with the arts and other sort of enrichment activities at home. Besides, kids in China have to do way more school work-- 6 days a week-so what are these sissy American kids whining about?

For anyone not familiar with Franklin philosophy--it is a no nonsense sort of school. It starts with phonics (which I love) and accelerates their learning in all areas. So kids are doing school work a year ahead of their peers. You know, 4th graders are doing 5th grade work and so and so forth. They drill math skills and just stick to the basics. The kids have art once a week which is done by their teacher, so they do have it. They have music class. So it's not like they don't have anything.

They have four class parties a year--one for season. But that's about it. No dressing up for anything, no red ribbon week with pajama day. Nothing. They also have a strict dress code where the kids have to wear pants, girls can wear skirts to their knees--but absolutely no shorts or even capris. No show and tell or anything of that sort. The have a stack of homework. It's all business. And I always thought I was an all business sort of person.

Turns out I'm not.

We changed schools at the perfect time. Her first day of school she went to Art class with and art teacher and they did oil colors. Hale is having red ribbon week. And they are doing different things. Wednesday was hat day, today was pajama day, and tomorrow is crazy socks day. Annabelle is over the moon about that--and she got to wear shorts on her first day of school. She wasn't nervous at all, and when I picked her up she had a HUGE smile on her face. She loved her first day and had a new friend with her the whole time. And as I was driving her to school the next day she said "I LOVE my new school. I didn't like Franklin. It was ok--I didn't NOT like it, it's just that now I WANT to go to school."

AUUUHHHH (that was the angels singing a chorus) .

That is exactly what I wanted for her--just to love it. She gets home earlier than the other kids because she starts earlier. She doesn't have much homework, which is actually hard for me to grasp. Franklin has homework starting with Kindergarten and it increases each year. I always thought it was necessary for a good education--but apparently it isn't. The school she is at now has good scores--not as great as Franklin--but still at excelling level. So she gets home and does the homework she does have and then she just smiles and bops around the house. She helped me make dinner and was so excited to do it.

I dropped her off this morning and then I had to drop my other kids off who are still at Franklin. And it was such a dramatic difference. When Annabelle got out the lady standing there said, "Good morning sweetie". And then when I pulled up to Franklin I looked at the lady standing at parent drop off and she was scowling. It's just a different feel. As I drove away I felt so happy. So happy that she is now happy--when she didn't even know she wasn't.

Because she's a barefoot kid. She is a barefoot kid who was in a laced up boots school--and now she's at a slip on sneaker school. Still snug, just more colorful and comfortable. And she's loving it.

I'm not naive enough to think that she'll be this excited forever. But I do think she'll be happier. How do I know?

Because when I dropped her off at her new school this morning--the principal was out front at unloading--and she was in her PJ's.

Poof

Do you ever just want to disappear? Start anew? Reinvent yourself somewhere else?

I'm feeling it. I'm a little ho hum with things. I'm just trudging along doing the same ol' same ol'. Which is what everyone does. But every once in a while I want new or different.

I want to take a year of photography, take classes, buy new gear--do new things.

I want to live somewhere else--maybe somewhere that HAS a Fall.

I want to travel. Get lost.

I want to stop thinking about things--like the news.

I want to stop worrying about what my kids may turn out to be.

I want new music.

I want new foods.

I want a new perspective.

I want change.

A random Pet Peve

Okay, I have many a pet peeve. But there is one that somehow irks me like no other.

And that is what I see as INCORRECTLY holding hands.

What? you say? There is such a thing?

Yes. There is.

I'll show you.

Correct:


Incorrect:



Do you see? The man should lead, his hand should be on top/in front. That is correct. I've mentioned this to other people and they gave me a crazy look.

Justin Bieb needs to learn a thing or two--but then again, he's just a boy. Maybe he'll man up.

Why does this irk me? I have no idea, but it does--to no end. Luckily, when I was looking for holding hand images, it was hard to find one that was incorrect. Which backs up my point, at least I think so.

The man leads, he should be the protector, the gentleman--opening the door and such. In a crowd, he should lead the way--and make a path. He can't do that if his lady's hand is on top.

I have never held hands incorrectly--in fact if someone ever tried (and I do have a faint memory of a boyfriend trying to do that to irk me)--I would rather NOT hold hands thanks.

And it's for his own good--I don't want people to think he's a pansy.

Modesty--for kids?

I have an issue with Modesty.

I don't think it fully applies to children.

I can hear someone reading this saying, "ahem . .. if you don't teach them as children then when will you teach them?"

Well--I think things are appropriate for different ages, and I don't want my kids thinking things too early.

I have heard my kids point people out in public and say, "SHE IS NOT MODEST". And truthfully, I am a little horrified--because I didn't teach them that--and I think they are judging those people, and that is the LAST thing I want.

I remember thinking my mother was a stickler for modesty--but now in retrospect--she was just like me--some things are driven home, while others .. . .not so much.

I was NOT allowed to wear short shorts. EVER. At least not when I was old enough for them to be considered short. If I look back at my early childhood in the late 70's early 80's--I wore short shorts--and those tank tops that had those pin tucks around the top and were super itchy--the ones with the spaghetti straps. In fact i remember being college age and seeing a picture of my friend from her childhood--and she had the same thing on--and her mother was all about Modesty.

It was fine--we were kids. So that led me to believe that the whole overboard with modesty thing kicked in sometime after my childhood.

Which is part of my point. I blogged my beliefs years ago after I read a Segullah article that i loved, but I can't find that post or I'd link it. I just remember the author saying that kids should be asexual and not worry about their bodies or images.

There should be a point in a child's life that modesty isn't a concern--being obsessed with our clothes and others shouldn't matter. You know, the less my kid thinks about her body and others bodies and who is and is not doing something wrong--then the better.

My kids wear short shorts--not gross short, but short. I don't care. They are little.

My kids wear tank tops. It's frickin' hot here--and they are kids, I think it's super cute.

But what i don't let my kids do is bare their stomach. I just think that's trashy at any age.

Well, unless you are swimming. But even then, when kids have bikinis on it weirds me out for some reason. Not the tankinis--but bikinis. ON babies it's cute because it's funny, but once they hit school age--then it starts getting weird for me. I don't know why.

So, basically I am doing what my mother did. Letting my kids be kids. And adjusting as I go. Annabelle is 9 and I'm starting to adjust for her. TAnk top dresses are just now seeming to not look right. So those are out. And when she gets boobles (you know, when their little boobies start to grow) then for sure she's done.

The reason this is on my mind is because I have to teach a lesson to the Primary kids on modesty. WHAT??? They are too little. I think. What do I tell them? Mostly--I don't want to say things because modesty isn't a black and white issue. There is not a clear list of what is right and wrong listed in the church's handbook. It is a general issue, with basic precepts, left to the parents to teach. Especially not for kids. And besides, not EVERY family believes the same thing.

I had one of my girl's friends say something to my daughter about her clothes being immodest--when she was 5. 5!!!!!!!! My kid was wearing a tank top.

Many mothers would be proud, I would be horrified. I don't want my kid telling other kids that they are doing something wrong, or unacceptable.

So I am going to tiptoe around the subject on Sunday--I actually saw on Sugardoodle that someone else didn't like this lesson either--so I'm going with her idea. The Primary manual for this lesson doesn't give specifics--it just says--teach modesty.

So I'm going to teach all of the kids that it is ok to wear tank tops until they have boobles. That's ok right?

Post note:

(I am NOT the right person to teaching this lesson, because just a few days ago I saw a picture of me in a bikini in college--and i thought "I am so glad I rocked that when i could--look at my abs" Not exactly a warrior or modesty ;)

post note of the previous post note:

My friend from the blogesphere linked me to an article she wrote--i thought it was great READ IT HERE>

on blogging

Usually when I wash dishes, or sometimes when I wake up in the middle of the night, I blog in my head. Usually I don't end up actually blogging those blogs--because by the time I am done doing dishes I have kids fighting over me, or when I wake up--I've forgotten what I wanted to say.

So as I was washing dishes today I was thinking about why people blog. And mostly why I blog. And it's to get random unconnected thoughts out of my head. These thoughts aren't developed enough to make a conversation--most are just statements of my opinion or a random observance--and that doesn't make much to converse about. And it's mostly like I'm talking at someone, versus talking with them. I just want them out of my head.

Some people don't get blogging. And I get that actually. But what some people don't get is that it's like having a conversation with a huge amount of people without having to wait your turn. And they don't have the pressure of agreeing, or disagreeing, or having to care at all. If it strikes them, they comment, if not, they move along to listen to someone else's random ramblings. It's perfect.

And for those of us at home--it's like being around the water cooler. A water cooler that is square with a keyboard attached--and when you are around the water cooler--you don't have to be in heels, you can be in an ugly fleece and drabby green sweat pants, with mascara smeared under your eyes from a horrible night of sleep that involved lying part of the night in your son's bed after he called to you LOUDLY at 4 AM through the doggy door that is fixed onto his bedroom door, and you rushed in to keep him quiet to ensure you wouldn't be spending the rest of the night with multiple kids in a bed. I'm sure NONE of you know what that's like.

So I have random things to say that may or may not elicit comments from any or none of you. But they will be out of my brain and I can move my thoughts onto more intellectual pursuits--like folding the laundry basket of whites--and figuring out how to read the REALLY LONG Peter Pan book and make it sound cohesive while I cut out most parts--did I mention it's REALLY LONG?

Commence unloading:

My youngest two take baths everyday. Not because I'm a clean person. Because it's an activity that buys me about 20 minutes to do something else.

To the people in power that are using the skirmish in Egypt as a reason to hike up gas prices--do you think we are stupid? You do this every time, and then reports come out later that nothing really interrupted your pipeline service or refineries. You are bastards and I hate you.

Finally went to Five Guys and ate last night. It was good. But the best was using their cool soda machine that I had only heard about on NPR. That is reason alone to go.

Finally watched Harry Potter with Hyrum last night. We were the only two in the the theater. But then a solo lady came in about 10 minutes in. Our thoughts of doing something frisky went out the door.

Speaking of frisky--did anyone else get weirded out during the movie when the horcrux necklace produced that image of a naked Harry and Hermione making out? Wah?

And during the whole movie we kept going--I want to go camping there, and there, and there. I want to pull a Danny Deckchair and fly somewhere to go camping.

Don't know what Danny Deckchair is? Rent it. It's one of my all time faves--it's a rewatcher for me.

If you need to get cupcakes for a party, and your school district doesn't let you make homemade ones--then go to Super Target. I was so excited to see cute simple cupcakes that weren't those crazy neon colors that turn your kids poop weird colors.

I just had to pay $150 to repair a $400 lens I bought two years ago. D.U.M.B. What I really want is a new lens--but that one is $1,300--that's never going to happen.

See--not really enough to start a conversation with. But I feel better.

Off to the laundry.

rolling around in my brain

My kids are running around playing tickle monster. Which apparently is a game? Or I think maybe they just made it up. My oldest told everyone that they had to pretend to be sleeping (she was the tickle monster) because if people were awake when the tickle monster showed up the parents would probably kill it . . OR put it in the zoo.

I chuckled at that.

Lately, after dinner, I have taken that time to run through math facts with my 3rd and 1st grader. Since it is in addition to homework, I try not to do it right after they get their homework done. I try to give them a few hours of a break. It's been working fabulously--they haven't complained once. But right now they are PLAYING the kind of playing that they will reminisce about as Adults.

But they need to work on math facts. The 1st grader is getting a C in math. BOOO. And I see why on her homework. It's not that she doesn't get the concept. It's that she gets distracted. She'll write a 6 when the answer is 16, because she didn't complete it. On occasion she'll add instead of subtract. She usually gets the answers right if she actually finishes the problem. As she has been randomly saying lately---oi.

I made it to the gym today. Which was good since I took a little break due to runny nosed children that are not welcome in their daycare. It felt good at first. Then I came home and cleaned a few rooms. Really cleaned them. It looked nice. Then I took a bath at 2:00, that was nice too since me muscle be hurting. But then I crashed. I called my friend to pick up the girls at the bus stop, and I crashed on the couch. But not a good nap, the kind that gets interrupted every two seconds with someone trying to sit on me, or asking for a snack, then later a drink of water. So then when I gave up and got up--I was grumpy. And I snapped, multiple times. In fact I told Josie that if she didn't like what I made for dinner she could eat dirt. And I wasn't joking. She didn't really eat it, but she didn't complain. They can see the crazy in my eyes when it shows up.

I looked for more schools today. Still didn't find anything. I really need to just resign myself to staying where we are. I think the problem is more with me. I want to be the mom that loves the creativity that some schools offer. But really I'm the one that puts achievement scores as first on my list of criteria. My friends told me I'm crazy. And they are right. But I don't know how to not be crazy.

Beck started sucking his thumb. He's 2. That is when Josie started, when she saw her new baby sister sucking her thumb and a light bulb went off. Ugh. So now I bought some nasty nail polish to nip that in the bud (is it butt or bud?--please advise). We shall see how that goes.

Oh--update on Hyrum's work. Apparently when I posted that we had a little miscommunication. The first time I talked to him he said that his supervisor said, "I need to talk to you later" but then later when I followed up with him he corrected me and told me that he said, "talk to you later" as in--later dude. Ugh. Anyhow, he ACTUALLY talked to him today and he said that there is a chance he'll be hired, but he has to interview because there are others up for the position. I think he'll get it, because he's good at what he does. But now we just have to hold out for him to pass the boards in 2 weeks.

WAiting, always waiting. That seems like my life. And his--since they are connected.

Alrighty--kids are done with tickle monster, and are finishing their adventure of boating (apparently my freshly made bed makes for a great boat).

Since I"m on the subject--does anyone know of any online places that makes Math fun? or any things like speak and math (that's what i had when I was young and I loved it)

On my mind

ON my mind: The president, Laundry and Diane Rehm

#1 The President is going to be on the Daily show. Ok, Mr. Barrock Star--you are a president, not a celebrity, although you think it's the other way around. YOu've been on The View and I saw ticker tape on CNN that said you were going to be on Mythbusters. REALLY? Guess what--we are in so much debt, pretty soon we will be flying a Chinese Flag. So how about you take some of this spare time, sit down with one of the financial guys and pound us a way out of this mess. Thanks

#2 I processed 173 pieces of kid laundry today. Yes I counted. I don't suggest it--it makes laundry even longer. I did not add in Adult laundry, or towels.

#3 Not once but twice this week NPR has been called out. And I found myself talking out loud to the radio (Kizzy asked me what I was doing). First was when Juan Williams was initially fired and your program was discussing Fox News. A caller who listens to both NPR and Fox news pointed out that at least Fox news welcomes the other side for banter. Not so much with NPR. I laughed, and clapped. Do I think NPR is as biased as Fox News? No. Do I watch Fox news? No. But NPR is left of center. Diane I listen to you and try to make a claim that you are impartial, but sometimes--when I dare say you don't notice it, your tone of voice becomes very pointed when you react to a comment of certain right of center guests. I have tried to justify it as good journalism, but I can sense your irk. And then today when you had Juan Williams on and he suggested that NPR's leadership was full of leftist ideology. You with your shocked tone said something to the effect of "NOT ME!" gasp. Then you said you could make a list of all of the people you have on for balance. I take that challenge. I want to see that list. It's not even, your subjects for programs aren't even. You lean Diane. Just admit. At least in Juan Williams' discussion today he admitted that all journalist have a bias--that as a human being--experiences create your view of things. He went on to say that one could still be a good, honest journalist.

I am right of center Diane, but I listen to NPR so how right can I be? Just ask someone who is from the right--NPR is not played on their radios. Just like Fox is not played on the left.

So, I'll keep listening to NPR--mostly for the non-political interest stories that I love, and I'll wait for some news organization to either be half and half---or, if ever, just center.

See the part of the interview I was talking about HERE

Letters in my head

These are the letters I wrote in my head while on the stationery cycle at the gym watching the Today Show.


Dear John Edwards,

You continued your bid for the presidency when you KNEW you fathered an illegitimate daughter? Did you honestly think that in this day and time of media that no one would EVER find out? And then as President, what would you have done when the ball dropped? And your wife was sick with Cancer. You are despicable and should be castrated.

xoxo Disgusted Woman/American Citizen




Dear Teenage Girl in Haiti who got rescued 15 days later,

Thanks for sticking through and holding on despite despair. This world needs some hope and strength and you showed us a thing or two.

xoxo Grateful Human Being



Dear Elin Woods,

You are nice to help your husband with his "addiction". But just know--you don't have to do it as his wife.

xoxo Woman who wants you to show that it is NOT ok for men to treat women like that



Dear President Obama,

I think you are an excellent orator and that you have amazing speech writers. They should get a raise. I also think that you will be a very quoted president because of that. But you feigning disgust at the political games of Democrats and Republicans fighting and talking trash of one another, well, it was a little far fetched. I have heard you refer to Republicans as "them". I would prefer that you our President and leader, refer to our elected officials of both sides as "we". And stop all of the talk about Republicans saying no just to say no. Remember that Bi-partisanship is just that--Bi-partisan. Has it escaped you that the prefix Bi means two? And sticking to your guns with your healthcare bill as is and not appealing to the other side ("them") is not being bi-partisan. You can't have things all your way and then say---they aren't being bi-partisan. When you say things like "they just won't work with us", I imagine in my head both sides with their arms folded like a child's fight over who gets what toy. How about YOU sit them both down in a room and make them not come out until both sides have something to be proud about. If they are going to act like children, treat them like children.

Furthermore, you talk a nice talk. Now if you walk a nice walk--I think this country could benefit.

xoxo American citizen/Moderate Republican (considering changing to Independent) who is tired of the bull



Dear middle-aged woman at the gym with small B cup real bosoms,

You are refreshing to see in this land of silicone. Props to you my natural sista.

xoxo President of the League of small but happy chested women




Dear ticker tape that read "State colleges want more students to get diplomas",

cc: ASU's president

Here is a tip, how about not tripling tuition in the past ten years. Or maybe not growing your University to ridiculous size and spreading it out across a major metropolitan city. Or charging ridiculous amounts just to park to make up for the ridiculous sprawl.

xoxo Actual graduate who understands why some don't finish



Dear Health food correspondent,

I DO NOT like whole grain pasta. It's just not good. I eat whole wheat bread and get my whole grains there. And since I only eat Pasta once a week, I'm going to stick with my white four, enriched Barilla noodles and enjoy every last bite.

xoxo Happy eater who is not overweight, and does not have high cholesterol.